I learned, I believe, . . . I ramble

In class last week, we did an activity that was geared toward helping us reflect on our experiences so far. I had a lot to say. I've had so much going on in my head that I have not gotten down on the computer screen, either in the blogs or the discussion boards. It isn't that I haven't wanted to; it has really been a time management issue for me. I am totally swamped with different things and people pulling me in different directions. I have had sick kids, I have a new and very time-consuming and important responsibility at church and all of these things are very important. I tend to take care of others first and leave me to last which has transferred to my schoolwork.

I am absolutely devastated by this, yet I know it is my choice to put these other things first. As a student, I have always had high expectations of myself and my work, and I have not even come close to meeting these expectations with my coursework so far this semester. I have allowed myself to get behind, but I am working on doing what I can to catch up. I have discovered in this process, that these classes do mean a lot to me. I am enjoying their content; I am enjoying learning about media center collections and technology. I feel I am making the right choice in a career change because I enjoy what I am learning and I feel like I have strengths that will be great assets to me in this profession. There have been other workshops and classes I have attended in the past where I just did it because I needed to for a requirement or because I was being made to attend a conference for teaching. At these times, I did the work but didn't have the intensity of feelings for the work that I do for these classes. Maybe it is because I have spent the last 8 years taking care of others (which I do not regret at all--my children are the "others" and I wouldn't trade my time with them when they are small) and I finally feel like I am doing something for me. Whatever the reason, I know I am doing the right thing by attending these classes and working on my degree. I just have to figure out a way to give the time I need to give in order to succeed.